Who said a heart can't break twice?

If I was supposed to rank my week, I would rank this as one of the last few. It supposedly hit rock bottom and lacked the energy to climb out of the pit. If you are interested, I'll tell you why. Else you could save yourself from this lengthy post. Are you ready? Brew yourself a hot cup of coffee, settle comfortably in your swivel chair and start to ponder the words of thy old hag.

I have a selfish 20 year old brother who is only interested in his ba0 beiizxz WRX. He kicks up a big fuss whenever anyone dares to insult or say the least about WRX. Worse still, WRX isn't his girlfriend. WRX is a car. This goes to show that he treasures WRX more than his own life. And this is the reason why I'm particularly worried one day I will be standing in front of his grave, weeping and trying my best to be the perfect daughter. How many of you has ever broken your parents heart? If you say no, whip yourself. Hurting your parents is inevitable, really. My brother wrote on a piece of paper, as his part of the deal, that he was going to work hard and finish poly year 3, help out with household chores and try to come home earlier. He wrote many things before these too, aims which he didn't achieve, promises he couldn't keep. A pity though, he didn't need to write the word "HURT" on my parents heart. His actions burned their way through the layers of skin on my parents and finally settled themselves down on their hearts like black gory font.

I'm 15, I can judge. I know how hard my old man has worked for this family. For all our expenses and to satisfy whatever cravings we have. Even if a blind couldn't see, he could feel. What's more you, when God have blessed you with a pair of flawless eyes. is WRX all that you could think of?

That's why I promised myself that I will never marry a guy that can't use his brain enough to think what might happen if he acted this way and not the other. I won't want him to hurt anyone dear to him. I need a guy more matured than this, who wouldn't make people sacrifice for him.

These few days have been teary. Not just the weather, but also me. I cried a few days before when me and the gurlies were talking about death. Picturing the scenario of what might happen when I lose my mother, I couldn't stop floods in time. This is how sentimental I could get when some people cries for their ex boyfriend(points 10 fingers at you-know-who). What will the day taste like. When one day the pair of loving hands that made me breakfast were gone. The arms that always hugged me before I left for school was gone. The sound of her naggings, laughter or cries, all kept in a little box that I didn't have the key to open. I don't have the courage to face my fears. I don't know how others might react, but after thinking that I was dependant for so long. I was wrong, I can't live without my mummy dearest. I want her to know that all those hurtful words I have yelled at her before, it wasn't out from the heart. They came out in the heat of a moment. I'm sorry mummy, I hope you understood and had the heart to forgive and forget.

I wonder how will cry out their hearts for me when I'm not living on day. Apart from my parents, who else?

Apart from worrying incessantly about issues like death. There was another thing I was sad about. How many teenagers have went through sex? In the olden days, this word was kept so hush hushed. But nowadays, lots of people are having underage sex. Or even worse, underage pregnancy. Even though I am bitchy/slutty and love to dirty talk, I don't think I will ever let a guy pop my cherry if that guy isn't my other half. I believe that if a guy respects me, he shouldn't try to cross the limits, least the fact that he will rob my virginity. I don't have the assurance that just because you are my boyfriend, I should surrender myself entirely to you. What if, let's just say, what if, you run away with another lady one day. Am I supposed to cry at my stupidity or laugh because I once loved you enough to let you pop my cherry? Enough said, I don't know what might happen in the future anyway. I might get raped by lets say..Justin Timberlake. Trust, lost. Chasity, lost and never returned.

And for a subject closer to me. I hurt Timmy in the morning. But like they say, revenge is never a dish served cold. I got it back, bad, just now. I got yelled "FUCK YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND?" I understand. I know it was my fault when I was paranoid over the little-lest thing, like when he asked where I went. He didn't deserve the treatment, but neither did I deserve the treatment and and that few words too. These few days has been quarreling, quarreling, quarreling till I'm drained. I want quarrels to stop but the difficulty is akin to having world peace. I think I should stop putting my heart on the sleeve.

So who the hell said a heart can't break twice?

A heart don't break into two, it breaks twice.