Sunday, 28 March 2010

You're no fairytale.

There's nothing much to this post except,


Oh, stop asking why. You don't happen to get anything either. You're the go do person who ends up with a broken heart. Nobody can fix it? Yes, but thats because you're fugly.

Friday, 29 January 2010

what my heart feeds on

I'm sorry.

Sometimes words cannot take us through the borders of the heart. We ourselves need the courage to find the right words and make the right move. Do not rely on instincts, it cannot bring us through the works of the heart. Do not rely on people. They will never be there long enough. Do not only rely on yourself, you're never good enough for your own expectations. Learn how to absorb, and then apply to life. Don't expect life to ever be easy. We all know the game master is us and we only have a chance to drop a bomb on this life we hold.

Dear K.

I know you've done a lot for the both of us but that doesn't mean that it's always sufficient to only rely on a person's effort. Both of us know that no matter how much we try, we'll always have our conflicts. Be it me starting it or you starting it. Although somehow it's always me starting it, and that sometimes you know I don't mean it. But my tongue will never spare you. The cutter tongue I have will always stab into you. Being tolerant to it will not bring us happiness. What we can derive from this is a relationship built on fear and regret. And as we've talked about this. Life is too short for regrets. We have to live our days with glory and pride. Not suffering because of a wrong feeling.

I should go.

Saturday, 16 January 2010

We all need some alcohol sometimes.

Alcohol is good for health. It soothes your soul and bends your body back to the way it was. It heals your heart and leaves you with an excuse to be marginally wrong. It pushes your limits and gives you another new pulse within your body so that you'll know something within you is alive again. It does wonders when you know that your heart is aching and longing.

This saturday it's doing the good life with booze and good friends and thankfully this time it wasn't in a room. We all know the room breeds sinful happenings. When there's a bed, there comes many possibilities.

Part of the night have been completely erased. I'm not so sure myself if that is a good thing because I think I might have done some stuffs to embarress myself or to hurt people during that period but if I really did embaress myself. I'm thankful to know that for this week or so, no one is going to remind me of them. Else I'll need to stuff my head into my asshole and pretend to not hear the muffled laughters.

What I'll need to do after this week of alcohol abuse and is to bun up my hair and get back to my work. Shape up my ass and be a good daughter. Not like I am not already but not so much misbehaving when I'm out.

And just to my three babies out there, even though I know you prolly don't even know about the existence about this blog but I'm thankful that you three took care of me so well the whole time I was drunk. If you didn't I would be housed in a guy's room by now, or maybe overseas if they decided to sell me away. I hope you three know I do love you. But please, do not let me drink so much next time. I'll bring a rope and maybe some tape so that you guys can tape up my mouth and tie me to the nearest pole. No more kissing/touching.

I'm gonna live life as it is.

Sunday, 3 January 2010

You roll with the times.

Hello Guys! Happy New Year. I know this isn't exactly the real date for New Year but let's make do with it since I really cannot be arsed to blog this few days.

Tomorrow I might be starting work at the kindergarden my auntie works in. I hope all goes well and I won't have to murder any spoilt bratzxz when they try to cry their way out stuffs. I don't really like kids who cries too much for their own good. Then again, I used to be one of those kids.

Anyway, I also think I've rubbed off some of Ching's sensitivity to little girls. During the Laos trip, there was this little fuckgirl that kept annoying me and I think she saw me mouthing bitch whenever she was in the way. Haha. That little fucker deserves this name because she was hovering around me for the 20 minutes that I was using FB and hotmail. Because she has no manners and tries to cut in whenever I am taking a picture. Because she complains too much for her own good. Because she...just is a cheebye.

I don't know how I'm going to handle all the kids tomorrow. I don't like to play mother to so many kids. I'll slap any of them if they try to climb over my head. To add it on, I have to wear jeans and a shirt tomorrow. Not that I have anything against all these outfits but.....Singapore is really too humid for such a wear! Being a shu nu is really not easy...

Anyway, my neurotism has also kicked in and I'm sure many of my peers are feeling the effect of it. Be forewarned, anybody who repeats their statement twice when I did not ask for it will get a very kaobeizxz reply from me. Anybody who ignores me will be heavily slapped with my sarcasm. Anybody who tries to even raise their voice at me will one get one reply from me. And that is to FUCK OFF. I really pity all my wonderful friends for being friends with such a fucker like me. Haha yea right as if I do care.

This New Year, there's not going to be any resolutions because as I've said before, resolutions are resoluted to the strong and there's nothing strong in me. Besides, most of the resolutions I make are either useless, senseless or both. So I see no point in continuing such stupid resolutions. The only thing I want to promise myself is to....stop breaking so many hearts by being nicer to people.

Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Having fun in moderation

Hello guys! I know it's hell long since I last blogged but yes, I'm back now! I've decided not to let anybody know that I've reopened the blog because I might want to type some very raw feelings of mine. So until any kpo's come to look see around this place and start to increase the number of visitors, I think it's reasonable to say that this blog will be as good as dead.

As you guys know, 2012 is around the corner and I'm sure many are anticipating for 12-21-2012 because that's the said date of us dying. If nothing goes wrong with the psychic's calculation, yes, we will all be dead. Have you, then, ever thought of doing some stuffs before you actually die? I did. Most of them are not very important but worth taking note of.

Blacks for those I wanna do. Red for those I've done before.

1) lose my virginity. (please don't ask me why this is on the top of my list)
2) experience bungee-jumping.
3) get really drunk and forget all about it the next day
4) earn my first $10 000
5) get my first tattoo
6) travel to other countries without any parents supervision AT ALL
7) fly a damned plane (not the remote control one hor, don't play play)
8) use a gun on an actual living thing
9) get my second tattoo (haha, i know this is so dumb)
10) find a guy I really like (you know how difficult it is for me ): )
11) kiss a girl bestfriend
12) look at a real man naked. Porn doesn't count.
13) Have a dog
14) Have a chinchilla
15) Meet a rich guy (sorry, all girls dream of that)
16) get a brazillian waxing
17) getting caught by the police when I'm doing something naughty
18) getting into a non-fatal car accident
19) getting a dress which costs 1k
20) be a bartender

And this stops at 20 because I'm too tired to think of any. To add on, most of the things I want to get done is not done only because I myself don't want to, not because I am not able to. I think I really have to generate all this energy into doing something productive if I want miracles to happen in my life instead of sitting on this chair and pretend to dream big. You know life always have unexpected stuffs coming up? I hope something like that will happen to me too. I am really getting bored.

Monday, 22 June 2009

aku perumpuan, back from malacca, malaysia

Diyana is jealous! For I did not blog about the sleepover a week before. Okay beetch, I'm going to do it now so quit whining!

I was over at Dee's house for a sleepover on tuesday and I think her family is one of the best host ever! You get to enjoy "sedap" food prepared by her parents and her siblings gave a whole new meaning to adorable. They will hold your hands, touch your hair and just keep giggling to themselves. I think I might actually consider moving to their house for good.

Whats better than a good host? A good friend of course! Seeing her in school everyday is nothing unusual since we've stuck by each other for 5 years straight. But to be by her side at night when her gross habits come, totally new experience! That night was like Singapore version of gossip girls, we just kept talking non-stop. It's only I made her shut up around 3 then did we manage to eventually setlle for some rest. But before that it was all about laughing, crying, punching, teasing and then getting closer to each other cause we were so damned scared of "pontianak."

Talking to Diyana made me realise lots of things, in fact, lots of sad stuff thats happening in the world, how much injustice and judement a person has to face in this very pragmatic world we are living in right now. Even if it's things I've often thought about, being able to talk it out was like serving it on a platter. So raw and but there's nothing much you can do about it. Shit stuff in life happens and I guess even if not all of us accepts it, we just live with it.

Thursday, she came over to my house. It's like some mini exchange programme in Jurong/Bukit Batok! We caught "drag me to hell" with a few other classmates before officially bunking in at my house.
The show was fucking awesome, even if it's for 3quarts of the movie. I thought the director was fucking brilliant to make use of so many special effects but what really cracked me up was Ganush, the witch in the movie. She had eyes of different colour and dirty nails to match her "hadn't-wash-in-a-few-years look." People who hadn't catch it should cause it's so fucking gross, lots of laughter in between and definitely entertaining for that 2 hours. I love it!

Anyway, enough raving about the awesomeness. Diyana coming to my house was not as lovely cause my parents pays more than they play. We just sat in bed after being completely washed out from swimming and talk about liberal issues like sex and how people perform them. After all the catfights in bed, the only decent answer we managed to come out with is that people uses manuals to aid in being sexually attractive, and therefore people with no prior sexual experience, if they are able to religiously follow the manual, the can actually score an A in bed.

As crappy as that could be, the next morning was worse since we woke up when class was starting. Diyana sleeps like a dead log and nothing can interupt her unless you really slap her hard. Attempted to roll her off the bed but she managed to stay on the edge, hit her stomach but yet, no reaction at all. Not even an "OW". If I hadn't heard her breathing I might think she really got squashed by my 200 pounds of beauty during the middle of the night and died. So scary but that's just Dee for you. We impressively reached school at 9 and the rest of the's history.

Goodgrief! Screw this wordy post, I'll post up pictures in abit. Till then, I need to prepare my speech for CIP hours and eat dinner. There's only a few days before holidays end and I want to savour every last bit of it!

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Coffee't outta my system!

I think I really have to type something else if I don't many people will just think I've commited suicide in the cyberspace.

I have shit loads of pictures to post up but I'm going to have to wait a few more days cause I can't find the damned card reader ever since I used it last friday!

Today I realised, Esther and me have the sofest resolves. We planned to meet by 8 but ended up changing the time to 9, only to have me being late! As I approached the long-legged beauty, she threw me this murderous look. Talk about "if looks could kill!"

We sat at starbucks for a whole 7 hours and I thought my butt was going to grow mould from all that sitting! My system reeks of coffee right now and I can already feel myself getting fat from all the whip cream. I think I might need to buy puking bags whenever I go to Starbucks cause honestly, my body can't take all that milk. Argh....

So, her brother got me sent home and it's so freaking funny when I cursed him and he'll accidently hit the curb. Halfway thru, he started making hand signs and made me repeat "I love myself", "I am motivated", he's sucha joker that when I opened my mouth I could practically swallow the car. But that didn't happen of course else wouldn't be here right now.

My fat ass brother finally decided to lesson his carbon prints cause he's learning, or rather, relearning how to take a bus. I think he might be lost since he called to say he's going to come home from Westmall around 10.15 and it's already 11.20. I live near IMM, approximately 5 stops away and unless he thinks of walking, how would it take so long?

I don't know what else to BYE!

Friday, 12 June 2009

give it to me hard


This past week was deadly, even more cruel when the school decided to cut off the electricity supply for the lift so that us students had to use the stairs. It's so unfair when we were the ones who donated so much money for it! But then again, life is NEVER fair.

In life you realise, we aren't always dealt the right cards, so its up to you to play your game.

Recently, we just underwent the resilience workshop at school and it's amazing how people can show their most beautiful sides at a time when they are at the peak of vulnerabilty. 35 making a class, 20 making a river. At the last part of the talk when we were all supposed to see our life on roleplay, it seems easy to watch it being played as our tears became part of the movie. It's this sort of things in life that really puts you at the periphery of life.

I don't see how everybody benefitted from it because I still believe true motivation comes from within. Motivation does not come with a price tag, it comes with longing and all other true spirits. I know I still sound like a cynic albeit after going thru the Adam Khoo workshop but I still have my reservations amd seriously speaking, the final equation still boils down to motivational talks being another door to easy money!

I think I might post the picture up tomorrow since....i'm such an ass when it comes to friday nights. I want to lie on my bed like a ragdoll with no stuffing and wait for my mummy to dry my hair. So pampered I know but don't be jealous, haha!

Saturday, 6 June 2009

It satifies me.

All pictures for the day at ECP. I'm gonna upload another post tmr on JBP if I have the time, I'll add up the pictures too. I have lots of pictures recently. Really satisfied with the outcome of this past one week and honestly sometimes I think God have been too nice to me. Yes, I have my shortcomings and flaws, but above all, I still feel like I don't lack anything. Maybe just a bit of part thereof but life, it's still good! :D



Beatrice the beggar "got 5cent?"












My fav! Felix jumping and I caught it! :D
Anyways, I finally upload the bimbo picture of my bro's gf and I can't wait to upload it! Recently she and my brother have been going thru a rocky relationship. Oh man, I hope they break up soon!

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Left it. at home

I can't for holidays, the real one, to come! I'm so bored and swiped out in school, I just cannot seem to concentrate. Today after school I met Laura and we made a stupid choice of eating in a restaurant. And, I've found out how to control spending. Leave your card at home, this way, you'll have nothing to spend.


Congrats to

Miss Neatest: Beatrice
Miss Self-discipline: HuiYun
Miss Courteous: Afifah
Mr Enterprise: Nicholas
Miss Reflective: Maggie
Miss Creative: Brintha
Miss Caring: Eunice
Mr Teamwork: Ariffin

Goodwork guys! (:

And Maggie, I don't know if you are going to read this but you can flame me all you like in your blog and don't bother to do me a service of changing my name because I don't need that at all. And if you are talking about JingYi, I can't care less now because we've also never talked about our problems face to face before. Obviously we also can't do it since she just started to ignore me one day. I can't say that I've been the most caring student but since teacher awarded me with it, I'll just accept it. And, if you like to keep harping on it, how much so are you reflective?

To date, I can't say I've been very mean to you altho yes, I've bitched about you before but it's fair and square since you have done so too. Even if you've clean forgetten, I can still remember when I was nice to you. I don't expect you to, in any way, big or small, repay this gratitude (who am I kidding, you'll just think I'm fake!), not even to remember, but I still hope that before you keep flaming me you'll have to remind yourself. It takes both hands to clap.

(ps, if anyone finds their name missing for the certs thing, sorry and tell me! thx)