Who said a heart can't break twice?

If I was supposed to rank my week, I would rank this as one of the last few. It supposedly hit rock bottom and lacked the energy to climb out of the pit. If you are interested, I'll tell you why. Else you could save yourself from this lengthy post. Are you ready? Brew yourself a hot cup of coffee, settle comfortably in your swivel chair and start to ponder the words of thy old hag.

I have a selfish 20 year old brother who is only interested in his ba0 beiizxz WRX. He kicks up a big fuss whenever anyone dares to insult or say the least about WRX. Worse still, WRX isn't his girlfriend. WRX is a car. This goes to show that he treasures WRX more than his own life. And this is the reason why I'm particularly worried one day I will be standing in front of his grave, weeping and trying my best to be the perfect daughter. How many of you has ever broken your parents heart? If you say no, whip yourself. Hurting your parents is inevitable, really. My brother wrote on a piece of paper, as his part of the deal, that he was going to work hard and finish poly year 3, help out with household chores and try to come home earlier. He wrote many things before these too, aims which he didn't achieve, promises he couldn't keep. A pity though, he didn't need to write the word "HURT" on my parents heart. His actions burned their way through the layers of skin on my parents and finally settled themselves down on their hearts like black gory font.

I'm 15, I can judge. I know how hard my old man has worked for this family. For all our expenses and to satisfy whatever cravings we have. Even if a blind couldn't see, he could feel. What's more you, when God have blessed you with a pair of flawless eyes. is WRX all that you could think of?

That's why I promised myself that I will never marry a guy that can't use his brain enough to think what might happen if he acted this way and not the other. I won't want him to hurt anyone dear to him. I need a guy more matured than this, who wouldn't make people sacrifice for him.

These few days have been teary. Not just the weather, but also me. I cried a few days before when me and the gurlies were talking about death. Picturing the scenario of what might happen when I lose my mother, I couldn't stop floods in time. This is how sentimental I could get when some people cries for their ex boyfriend(points 10 fingers at you-know-who). What will the day taste like. When one day the pair of loving hands that made me breakfast were gone. The arms that always hugged me before I left for school was gone. The sound of her naggings, laughter or cries, all kept in a little box that I didn't have the key to open. I don't have the courage to face my fears. I don't know how others might react, but after thinking that I was dependant for so long. I was wrong, I can't live without my mummy dearest. I want her to know that all those hurtful words I have yelled at her before, it wasn't out from the heart. They came out in the heat of a moment. I'm sorry mummy, I hope you understood and had the heart to forgive and forget.

I wonder how will cry out their hearts for me when I'm not living on day. Apart from my parents, who else?

Apart from worrying incessantly about issues like death. There was another thing I was sad about. How many teenagers have went through sex? In the olden days, this word was kept so hush hushed. But nowadays, lots of people are having underage sex. Or even worse, underage pregnancy. Even though I am bitchy/slutty and love to dirty talk, I don't think I will ever let a guy pop my cherry if that guy isn't my other half. I believe that if a guy respects me, he shouldn't try to cross the limits, least the fact that he will rob my virginity. I don't have the assurance that just because you are my boyfriend, I should surrender myself entirely to you. What if, let's just say, what if, you run away with another lady one day. Am I supposed to cry at my stupidity or laugh because I once loved you enough to let you pop my cherry? Enough said, I don't know what might happen in the future anyway. I might get raped by lets say..Justin Timberlake. Trust, lost. Chasity, lost and never returned.

And for a subject closer to me. I hurt Timmy in the morning. But like they say, revenge is never a dish served cold. I got it back, bad, just now. I got yelled "FUCK YOU, YOU UNDERSTAND?" I understand. I know it was my fault when I was paranoid over the little-lest thing, like when he asked where I went. He didn't deserve the treatment, but neither did I deserve the treatment and and that few words too. These few days has been quarreling, quarreling, quarreling till I'm drained. I want quarrels to stop but the difficulty is akin to having world peace. I think I should stop putting my heart on the sleeve.

So who the hell said a heart can't break twice?

A heart don't break into two, it breaks twice.

As soon as it strikes 12

Its time to start counting down and leave the last few moments of the 14year old loser behind and take on new responsibilities as a 15year old babe. Not me, but to my best breast friend whose birthday falls on 27august, who is going to evolve in perhaps an hour more to go.

Now, I'm going to dedicate one whole post to you cause you are so spekcial it since its your 15th birthday and cause I know for this special night, you won't be falling asleep. Instead, you are going to take some time out to reply every single messages of joy people sends to you till you prepaid runs low again and your thumbs swell from messaging too much.

For these few months that we were together, I've enjoyed myself immensely for every single moment I CHILL OUT with you. Now even whenever I breathe, I take you in and our hearts combine as one. I sound so corny but I think you know its the truth, better than anyone else. We look at each other everyday yet it seems so amazing because even though its been 5fucking months we still aren't tired of each other. Instead, we seem to have grown onto one another just like how fungi spreads fast. I got influenced by you laidback attitude, till I don't seem so paranoid nowadays. Except when I start tearing whenever I think of what might never cease to happen in the near future, like when I do lose one of my closed ones and when I start to grow apart from you. You grew to be more like when in terms of how you think and react to situations. See, in a way, we traded something we have on ourselves with each other. We even use the same shampoo and soap, till I always smell me whenever I lay on your boobies and take in a deep breath, comforted with the fact that it's you that is looking at me being depressed or whenever I am buoyant, and not just any other common pie.

Up till now, we have gone through more than the amount people could even imagine of. I look for something permanent in the relationship of both of us, and not just the usual laugh, talk, get high friends that disappear like lost time and never be retrieved again. Countless of times, I have laid in your rooms, in your arms, smelling your leg while I cry about some mediocre guy that I thought have caught my eye but was actually a passing phase. When I giggle into your tummy, and then try to tickle you as if you were my baby, thinking about what future holds in store for me. Whenever I feel antagonized by any fucking cheebye in my life, it's you that holds me in your arms while you listen to my grumbles without a sound, trying to calm me down. Then its the same old cycle whenever you lie in my arms repining about how come life can be so fucked up sometimes and how come good guys are snatched up so quickly, leaving only the sub-standard average Joe for you to slowly savor(walau, sound like a cannibal loh). When you ask me if you're fat and I gave you the most truthful answer that its only cause you are big sized so many has the misconception that you are fat, and all of us know that being big isn't a sin. In so many ways unthinkable, we have counted on each other for some kind of strength that surge through us. I doubt anyone can ever understand how much we respect and care for each other, cause never in our lifes have we given so much and expected an insignificant amount in return. To the both of us, having one another as best partners is already a gift that Heaven bestowed upon me and you.

I can think of gazillion memories with you. Like how we use to race home or skip around in the neighbourhood. How we will bathe each other in the toilet trying to spray each other with water. How you do my make up for me whenever Im too lazy to. How I listen to your mother's woes. How you try to protect me everytime. Oh, stop it Eunice. If I do list them out one by one, I reckon you will start to hyperventilate cause its a long list to down under. You nerves at your eyes might just go haywire anytime and you will prolly start knocking on my metal gates for compensation.

To hell with what we had, I want to start planning for our future. If you ever fail to get a partner, I'm going to fly you over to a Western country and get legalised to be a bisexal partner. I will kiss you till your mouth turns dry and hug you till I leave my shape on your body. Every morning I will make you sun tan out on the beach with me, looking down at our saggy tits while you apply sun tan lotion on me. Every night I will scrub you clean with a spongebob squarepants brush till rash finds their way on your body. After I do so, I shall snuggle into the bed with you and make sure I cover every part of your body with the garfield blanket I have at home. Together in our backyards, we will drink orange juice and mock at any chao ah lian that crosses our path, with their swearing finger and loud burps of vulgarities. Then we are going to gossip the whole day about how people look like when they are performing acrobatic acts on bed and pose seductively whilst scaring the shit out of any innocent passerby. This was what we meant by "Trespassers shall be prosecuted" Im going to smack your bootie with a whip till I leave the letter "E" on it so you can admire it day and night and think of how slutty I look whenever I carry a whip around, ordering people to lie down. We will sun our wrinkled skin and moan about freckles.

Are you willing to grow old and have saggy tits with me?

I love you and I don't care I sound corny on my blog cause it's you I'm talking about.












HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH HUAY DEAREST.

I need a day of 48hours.

Too many things, too little time. Since young, I have always ambitioned myself to be a doctor, lawyer or anything great. Thats not a surprise anyway, Singaporean kids are only open to a few choices. Its just what their parents portray them to be. They educate their kids in hopes that one day, they will be able to hold a piece of recycled paper and start giving Oscar-alike speeches to thank their parents. How important in a piece of recycled paper with a few wordings on it anyway? It is your ticket to University's and jobs with good prospects.

Today as I was having Chemistry tuition. I had a try at oxidation states and up till now, I find it pointless to find oxidation state because I know 10years down the road, I won't even remember how to do it. Much less what is it anyway. To me, its just some theory that you have to keep it locked up in your head till our O's pass and then you can hurl the whole lot of OXIDATION STATES back to your teacher. Why the fuck do you need it anyway? You don't walk around in Singapore looking at labels printed with oxidation states to get to where you want, do you?

Right, that whole chunk of words were rather random and un-interesting. But I still can't get over the fact I just wasted 60bucks trying to learn something I know that I can't even apply in real life. Why can't they just teach me the 10ways to seduce hot guys with wits. That would be so much more beneficial and at least I know I can put it to good use. I can be flirtatious and then one day I will walk down Orchard holding the hands of two blonde headed kids, each trying to sniff each others butt. That would be worth my 60dollars.

Its going to be holidays in a few days time. Honestly, I got a shock when YinHui told me today Holidays are coming. As excited as I am, I realise my holidays are still filled with shit. Chemistry remedials. Yay! Im going to learn oxidation states again! I think I'm going to bring a plastic bag to remedial, not to contain extra notes but to barf into it when I look at acid Hua(inside joke). That fucking whore made half the class sit on the cold, hard ground during the first period today. I reckon it was a good move since I will also be snoozing in class anyway.

I think I have a hobby to contradict myself, I spent half the time trying to think of anything intellectual to write about yet I have been going on and on without writing anything productive. I like to spend time in front of the computer playing with my tongue stud and waiting for Tim's reply because that cheebye is working his ass off right now. Working his ass off does not mean he sells his ass for a living, thanks.

I miss him so much even though the last time I saw him was only around one day ago. This is what I call absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I hope all my horidays will quickly pass so when it is the holidays, I'm able to force Timmy to come all the way down to this ulu place in Jurong and find me. Pure joy!

Have been having some good clean fun all weekend. I am ashamed. I feel happy whenever I quarrel with Timmy. Am I too much of an introvert that I feel especially exuberant shouting into the phone rapping 27485628words per minute, mostly consisting of the words "FUCKING CHEEBYE KIA" Okay, I really need to start changing my language else I will morph into my partner in school, screaming all the vulgarities I can think of.

I hope something in my life can go haywire right now. Then at least I won't sit around, idling my time away. Maybe I should watch some interesting videos to pass my time *coughcough*

Right, get done to business. This fucking post is really crap but I can't be bothered because I just didn't want my blog to get hungry with the lack of post and sincerity. Blog, when I love you more, I shall be back with pictures. Muack Muack.

I love you, I truly do

Dearest, I wasn't trying to be a real fuck. We were enjoying the day, but I felt I couldn't self destroy so I decided to open my mouth and let those words out from captive. How they roared and bite, seemingly impossible to stop. If I had known what those words could inflict, believe me, the path I would have chosen to take will be nothing similar to the one we are stepping on right now.

I chose to be frank, because I thought you would understand. Not that you didn't, but things turned out way uglier than I expected. In the going that I thought you would be stronger that I portrayed, I forgot that Im actually important in your life too.

I'm apologetic to have said I'm gonna protect myself against you. I didn't mean it in the armour-ish and steel swords way. I just needed to get used to the new you before I pick up from where I left off. Not just in terms of new hairstyle, but your character and such. Don't ask me to elaborate and talk, I don't even think I am capable of doing so.

Sometimes I wished I didn't open my mouth to big and I could use elephant glue to seal it up. Then maybe whatever golden words I drop from my mouth and cause people to be upset and perturbed about it. Looking at the mess I've caused now, I'm extremely worried that I might lose my best breast friend. For if I really did, I shall be living in excruciating pain and I will be scratching my black mass of hair every now and then just in order to think, where and how did I go wrong. I don't want to live in regret, cause I will need to wallow in self-pity, and furthermore, I can never find someone that I love so much and someone so close to my heart. Somebody that never fails to cheer me up and somebody that I feel so at ease with, so much so that I can fart in front of and try to pluck my armpit hairs.

I think somebody should just slap me and wake me up from such a horrid nightmare. I constantly suffer from it and I think I might become unsound one day.

I forgot to tell you, I still want to spend your 15th birthday with you and I still love you as much as I used to.

ps, we have much more memories than this.

7TH MONTH!

I know I'm a tad bit late for such a post and perhaps post of this genre is so outdated already but I suddenly remember I have something juicy to post up! How many of you believe in supernatural, or even seen one before? If you haven't, today your mother shall give you the chance to look at something which I deem as hantu, or ghost. Please don't freak out and say that I atrract ghost. I rather you say something more productive like, I'm attractive so that I can blush and hide around, acting like little angel with a halo on my head.

Back when we had a bond

No, the ghost isn't me, although I look like my smile was forced out. I was tired! Its a week before I went into the operating theatre and I didn't had the energy back then to endure late nights and be a delinquent. Nor is it Maggie even though she looks so much fairer in contrast. If you would please, look... BESIDE ME! I'm not trying to kid my way through and cause a big hoo ha by telling everyone I just managed to capture a hantu on my sony E phone. This picture was taken in the middle of the night at Marina Bay. I only realised it several days after I took the photo when browsing through all my pretty photos. I was so freaked out I was practically immobilised with fear. I just sat there squinting at the hantu, which by the way looks like the hantu you see in "The Maid", another production of Jack Neo. And Singapore's first horror movie, though i thought it was more of gore.

Scary isn't it?!!? Now for those that don't believe in the theory that ghost's exist, here's the time for you to swallow your words. EAT IT UP!

Don't doubt if this picture had been editted before. You think lao niang is so free to come and entertain with a fake picture. The hantu was merely on candid camera. Besides, lao niang have no idea how to use adobe because Im not as mendacious as some people and third point, why the hell would I want to chose a picture that I took with Maggie unless I want to compare the ghost with it right. (Not personal insult.) And, I wouldn't try to design such a ugly ghost because I would want mine to be a handsome caucasian, and I will tell all of you that he is secretly in love with me, so he tried to make me notice him by appearing in my photo out of nowhere. Last but not least, the picture is real for certain because no one wears like they are going to sleep at Marina Bay. And the ghost looks a little audistic so I reckon he might have got lost in that area. Okay, I really should keep my mouth and butt shut since its the 7th month and the undead souls are lingering everywhere. Top bottom left right, watching every word that I type.

Mother Fucker, now I'm scared to bathe alone. Mummmmyyyyy~

JERMSIES, AH HUAY AND YOUR ONE TRULY

It all started dark, cold and hungry, when me and Ah Huay decided to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and torture our eyes by adding the shades of black on it. Rather meaningful, to get excited about waking up so early. Actually, maybe only me. I think Ah Huay(sounds like some noob ah beng) was more interested in sleeping on my dusty bed with her armpits facing the air. I had to wake up 30minutes in advance just to drag her sleepy butts out of the bed. I meant drag, literally. I am not as muscular as her. Truth, even though she looks bigger than me, its all freaking muscles! Nabeh.

When we rushed out of the door, for good heavens sake, even though we weren't chasing any bus, my bag was filled with packets of fish keropoks and mammi(?) packets, drumsticks, drumbook, my Jodi Picoult book and an extra sets of clothing, plus underwear. Oh, not to forget, I actually brought countless pads along since I was such a worrywart that I might flood east coast park with blood that day. The amount of neccessities in my bag makes it seem like I'm running away from home but not to worry, I will never leave the comfort of my house. I love my mum and bed too much to even consider leaving home for, say, a few days.

That hell of a bitch convinced me that drums started at 10. I was a fool to believe her since after when we reached plaza Singapure at 9.30 and was aghast with the fact that Yamaha isn't even open for business yet. CCB! She even had the guts to counter-attack that drums really starts at 10. Ah Huay, cute hor?

Breast friend waited for me outside class. 60MINUTES! I just did that to make the number seem bigger but actually, 60minutes is just a bloody one hour. Im so touched I accompanied her to smoke right after class without whining about the smell. See, Eunice can rock too.
Reached East Coast Park and started to squash the bikes with our fat asses. But maybe God was unhappy that day so he made sure amidst of all the fun, there came the downpour. Felt like asking for a refund -grumps.

Jermsies tagged along soon after Mel returned the skates. I never knew Jerms was so charming! He is a complete rocker at skating, he practically owned the skates. Maybe you could make him a twirlgirl if you are interested since his legs are so scrawny they resemble the pair of chopsticks I keep at home. We cycled towards Changi Beach and towards the end of the ride, my butts practically detached themself from each other and was each a hanging piece of fat. My vagina was also hurting way alot, plus the fact that tomato sauce was dripping from it. Stopped for a good cup of coconut juice. Reminded me plainly of the fact how my cousin like to pronounce it as KUKUnut. HAHA! Jetty-fied ourselves and saw an archer fish that was caught by a pauch bellied uncle. Many people were surrounding it so of course, as true Singaporeans, we did exactly the same. Only decided to head back once we head out that horrors of horrors! we were gonna exceed the time limit in just about 10minutes when the journey will take around 20.

Having changed out of our sweaty, mucky, and extremely wet clothes, had a good walk to the sea so we could exchange swords(JUST KIDDING), so we could feel the good ol' breeze and dry our wet armpits. Boy, did that feel good.

And then suddenly we acted like best friends. See, lured Jermsies into our trap. We laughed alot, burped alot, fart alot that day. And very fortunately for you guys, its always Ah Huay who is holding the camera so most of the time her face is cut away. Your eyes are saved!

Pungol nasi lemak! First time I tried it, and I think its quite yummy. Though the portions are for ants and the price only looks okay to big businessmen. Is this the business etiquette nowadays? Im ashamed at the economy, price rise and little food situation nowadays. Feels like Singapore is going through Japanese Occupation once again. Yes, Im a true Singaporean because I give my utmost attention to minor details and complain so much about it. Somebody kick my ass and send me into hell before I get sued for making too much noise.

Timmy was on his pocket bike. x100 times cuter than him. That tiny one was so cantankerous that day and he kept biting on my words like his ex-girlfriend Jasmine. But how cute he was when he kept smiling to himself whenever I said something. I don't know which is worse, him laughing or not. When he laughs, I have no idea whatsoever is he laughing at me or what I said. Fuck right. HAHA. And when he doesn't make a sound, you think he is angry and he pulls this monkey face which you also can't help but laugh at. See, tiny guy acting cute.


Bogay people also have pride.

If you think its dark, its your eyes.

Clearer but Huay skanked away leaving Jermsies with a horrible smile. WASSUP?!!?

Im the rider, shes the ride. Im good at riding and she's good at being ride.

There goes my strong mama showing love to this little lady here. HAHA. She practically heaved me up. See, so strong. Not just in terms of physical strength, mentally too.

And just to advert, please watch.

ITS ME! plus fucking short legs. Good night, and try to get some sweet dreams.

virginistic

This is my first official post! Stickman don't refer to me. It actually justs depicts everybody. Naked(not porn) and raw when everybody is in for a roughtime. Thats what we all look like. Stickman people but still not vulnerable enough to trip and fall any moment. Okay, rubbish sentence but it's all that I can offer for the moment. I'm so excited to open a blog that I can fill chemicals with and pollute people's mind.


Yak yak yak. Now im off to look for some spectacular designs that will send people flushing themselves into the toilet bowl(this came out random) when they look at how well and neat my blog could be. HA! Its an understatement, don't worry.

Till then, I'm out-