life is cynical :-l

You know, I was looking through my old stuffs just a minute ago and found a letter I wrote to this guy but just didn't have the courage to get it sent out. It was such a bad timing to find the letter because when I opened it, it was sending signals of regrets and it's just 1day after valentines. I shouldn't be subjected to such a treatment, but I guess it's a gentle reminder of what I can do with some love in my life. I couldn't believe that 2 years ago, when I was still on the verge of being a delinquent, I could actually write such a mushy letter and I was practically obsessed with this guy. I wrote down every single little thing of him that made me smile to myself like some little girl in love.

When I think of how dumb I was 2 years back, I really wish that I could buy an air ticket back to the past and not break the heart I was holding in my bare hands. Zooming in today, he's happy and I am too. But what if he was with me today, will I be happier? Life is such a cynic.

Next year valentine's, I'm going to try and find a guy worthy of my love. But if I can't, I'll just buy marshmallows and stuff myself dead.


xoxo, goh jia yi