I've been getting lesser and lesser sleep everyday and as a result, my eye rings are showing. Rings, in the form of diamonds are a girls best friend. When they become a result of over-tiredness and fatigue, they are nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, that are a girls best friend. Speaking of which, I just lost a best friend. Twice in a year, both without quarelling. I'm beginning to suspect it's a form of spiritual attack.
I skipped church this week, but guess I'm gon go next.
Life's still manageable and new year is coming. I hope everybody has their pockets stuffed with money. Goodbye.
ps. check your facts next time, tyvm.
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Saturday, 10 January 2009
not weaving an old maids tale
I've been talking, not really, more of complaining. Been thinking it over and over again, flipping through the mental pages till the edges starts to curl, till I could possibly read out my thoughts, as if it came right off from the back of my hand. So many things have been happening recently, I feel like lying on the bed and asking God "where are You?"
Yesterday, I asked C why have we been so damn far apart lately. I've been so pertubed by her actions and answers, trying to rack my brains for a fragment of truth, using all possible counter arguements.
I remembered when last year me and my breastfriend fell out. It just happened, without so much as a reasonable explanation. At that point of time, I was wretched. For the whole time, I tried to appear nonchalant although I dedicated much of my blog posts to her. I tried to rectify the problem but I just couldn't get to the root of it. I felt terrible and I really just wanted to sleep in my bed the whole day, cry to my four walls and prolly soak my pillow dry just because I couldn't bear the scene in front of me. People always have their fear, don't they? But actually, the thing they fear the most, other than their fear, is seeing their fear becoming from fiction to truth. But that's human nature, and human error. They rather deceive themself, or hide whatever is upsetting them rather than to showcase it to the world and let people hurt them over again. They often trick their minds into believing what's good is good, even when the "good" is not so good, just because, doing that makes them feel happy. But that's human, that's us.
This time when it happened again, a silent conversation and a few cliche actions. It got so damned heart-rending. I've always tried to face difficulties with my pet phrases "don't worry, God's got your back" or "things aren't always as bad as they seem, just get past the first hurdle and everything will fall into place" But actually, sometimes when things don't go my way, where a hell lot seems to be impeding my progress, I start to doubt if it's my heartfelt words or I just did it to make me happy. It's always so easy to use a smokescreen, words don't carry their weights anymore.
Actually, to think of it. Which creature on earth is infallible? But to me, so long as we still know of the rationale, to try to fend off history from repeating itself. We're safe and good to go. Cliche?
I'll keep trying to be complaisant, because sometimes, it's just so hard trying to let go, when really, it's never been and never will be the easiest thing to do.
Yesterday, I asked C why have we been so damn far apart lately. I've been so pertubed by her actions and answers, trying to rack my brains for a fragment of truth, using all possible counter arguements.
I remembered when last year me and my breastfriend fell out. It just happened, without so much as a reasonable explanation. At that point of time, I was wretched. For the whole time, I tried to appear nonchalant although I dedicated much of my blog posts to her. I tried to rectify the problem but I just couldn't get to the root of it. I felt terrible and I really just wanted to sleep in my bed the whole day, cry to my four walls and prolly soak my pillow dry just because I couldn't bear the scene in front of me. People always have their fear, don't they? But actually, the thing they fear the most, other than their fear, is seeing their fear becoming from fiction to truth. But that's human nature, and human error. They rather deceive themself, or hide whatever is upsetting them rather than to showcase it to the world and let people hurt them over again. They often trick their minds into believing what's good is good, even when the "good" is not so good, just because, doing that makes them feel happy. But that's human, that's us.
This time when it happened again, a silent conversation and a few cliche actions. It got so damned heart-rending. I've always tried to face difficulties with my pet phrases "don't worry, God's got your back" or "things aren't always as bad as they seem, just get past the first hurdle and everything will fall into place" But actually, sometimes when things don't go my way, where a hell lot seems to be impeding my progress, I start to doubt if it's my heartfelt words or I just did it to make me happy. It's always so easy to use a smokescreen, words don't carry their weights anymore.
Actually, to think of it. Which creature on earth is infallible? But to me, so long as we still know of the rationale, to try to fend off history from repeating itself. We're safe and good to go. Cliche?
I'll keep trying to be complaisant, because sometimes, it's just so hard trying to let go, when really, it's never been and never will be the easiest thing to do.
Friday, 9 January 2009
you know what they say, silence kills
Sometimes I look at others and secretly wish that I could be somewhat like them, maybe if I traded abit of me for part of their glamour and then sometimes when people are jealous of me, I thought, you know, everybody's given a right to think right about themself.
Leave this blank, I'm filled with remorse and regret.
Leave this blank, I'm filled with remorse and regret.
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
just a walking cliche
I'm feeling rather traumatised now because I just realised JENISE THNG who is supposed to be my long lost lover of something JUST CERTIFIED ME AS THE QUEEN OF BITCHING ON HER BLOG. BU KAI XIN~~~
Perhaps I'm exaggerating but I can't believe Jen only remembers the time I bitched with her, other than those I slept on her floor, fed her donuts, I HAVE TO BE THE QUEEN OF BITCH. Oh mother fucker. HOW SAD CAN MY LIFE GET!?
Aside all these, I survived career day. I thought they said OFFICE WEAR and turned up in a dress, but unknown to me, half the cohort turned up in corporate dressing which left me looking like a lost secretary in the school. But the good thing was, I also found damn lot people who had inappropriate attire so I guess I'll let the good time override the bad.
Totally dig my coach. And totally hated the venue for to hold this talk. I don't know how BBSS derived the sentence "equality is practiced in our school and there will be no favouritism" but then, when all the other classes are in air conditioned rooms, we were left to fend ourself with 6 fans on the ceiling, over usage of soaking wet tissues, swatting flies as we were listening, <<
Plenty of party people skipped school for tuesday. I'm just gonna fake that because there were no air con, I developed rashes and wasn't good enough to go for school. Must make the school guilty. Die mother fucker die.
On a serious note, since 2009 is here. I guess it's time to pull up my socks, figuratively and literally. I need a good grade! Lord, I don't hope for a miracle but as long as I get into the course I want. I'm contented.
Perhaps I'm exaggerating but I can't believe Jen only remembers the time I bitched with her, other than those I slept on her floor, fed her donuts, I HAVE TO BE THE QUEEN OF BITCH. Oh mother fucker. HOW SAD CAN MY LIFE GET!?
Aside all these, I survived career day. I thought they said OFFICE WEAR and turned up in a dress, but unknown to me, half the cohort turned up in corporate dressing which left me looking like a lost secretary in the school. But the good thing was, I also found damn lot people who had inappropriate attire so I guess I'll let the good time override the bad.
Totally dig my coach. And totally hated the venue for to hold this talk. I don't know how BBSS derived the sentence "equality is practiced in our school and there will be no favouritism" but then, when all the other classes are in air conditioned rooms, we were left to fend ourself with 6 fans on the ceiling, over usage of soaking wet tissues, swatting flies as we were listening, <<
Plenty of party people skipped school for tuesday. I'm just gonna fake that because there were no air con, I developed rashes and wasn't good enough to go for school. Must make the school guilty. Die mother fucker die.
On a serious note, since 2009 is here. I guess it's time to pull up my socks, figuratively and literally. I need a good grade! Lord, I don't hope for a miracle but as long as I get into the course I want. I'm contented.
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
resolutions are resoluted to the strong
Screw me but when it comes to regular updating I'll throw in all the possible reasons when actually the fitting one is that, I've been too lazy to switch on the bloody computer. Putting that reason aside, 2 our of 3 of my computers are down so really, it's not that much of my fault already. I've been playing for the last week of my holidays and I don't feel guilty for neglecting my studies since there's only a few days more to school. I skipped the symbolic walk for school because I've been there and I know how mother big it is. Besides, the first day will be the tour so I see no reason for waking up early. I'm going to dress up and hit the town later, do some damage shopping and crash early on new year's eve. I know it sounds so banal but I don't feel like embracing the new year with open arms.
There's so much pictures and stuffs to say. Like how everybody is changing, and thankfully, all for the better. There's no reason to stay alive with all my emotional baggages, I should learn to rock and roll, just like the others.
My resolution(s) for this year is to grow in God, grow in height, grow smarter, learn to be more diplomatic(or what justin says), learn to pardon others, stop spouting profanities, stop squeezing my pimples whenever I have it(I know this sounds weird, lol), and when O levels finish pack my camping bag and tour the world, probably meet a nice guy abroad and bring him back for the next new year. Concrete plans much?
LOVE LOVE LOVE, EUNICE.
no pictures in this computer so will try to do the uglu faces, next time.
There's so much pictures and stuffs to say. Like how everybody is changing, and thankfully, all for the better. There's no reason to stay alive with all my emotional baggages, I should learn to rock and roll, just like the others.
My resolution(s) for this year is to grow in God, grow in height, grow smarter, learn to be more diplomatic(or what justin says), learn to pardon others, stop spouting profanities, stop squeezing my pimples whenever I have it(I know this sounds weird, lol), and when O levels finish pack my camping bag and tour the world, probably meet a nice guy abroad and bring him back for the next new year. Concrete plans much?
LOVE LOVE LOVE, EUNICE.
no pictures in this computer so will try to do the uglu faces, next time.
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Harvest a heart for this poor soul
I know I owe you guys this post, and another regarding the lesbian party over at Jenise's house but I've been too lazy recently, even to date hot guys out so just bear with this bare post while I try to buy time and let you guys see mother hot pictures of the sleepover the other time.
For now, MSN is screwed so anybody who wants to talk to me, please buzz my phone but not at unearthly hours hor thanks. I kinda miss Justin right now cause that grouchy shit is studying and strictly forbids himself from replying all my crap messages. Fuck?
Genting was fun since it's the first time I went. No hot guys and I didn't get killed by the long ride there, sad for you. The food was good, I ate everything and went to the toilet with the ass facing the seat not the mouth. The people was good, no one stole my stuffs or banged into me without saying sorry. The hotel was good, I could do somersaults on the bed without breaking it. The rides were good, I screamed mother loud and made a new friend there. I was good, ya lah, as always, what's new?
I came back and went for my dance class straight. Not pole dance if that's what you're guessing. Don't laugh when you think of my thunder trunks doing hops and squats because so you should know I'll be shaking my ass in front of 900? people on Dec10 and I'm pretty proud of it!
The next day was lesbian party at the pink girl's house playing fighting for space in bed and endless camera time and donuts digs then chicken rice in the morning flirting with the stallowner for more vegetables and then coming home tired and over consumed. I know this sentence has no pauses in between so you could slightly guess that's how my day went like.
Saturday was turning up at drummies late, only to find out I'm the only one who attended the class and then attending dinner with a colleague whom I have a growing suspicion that she carries a torch for me.
Monday was getting an sms from Yiwei to ask me out for dinner but then a last minute, EH SORRY I CANNOT MAKE IT BUT I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU SOMEDAY. Goodnews Yiwei, I'll ship you off to Genting and the torture chair. Say bye to Singapore now.
Tuesday was Justin cancelling lunch on me. It didn't feel good cause it's the second time that week already but guiltridden Justin asked me out at night just to make up for it. Then wednesday was waking up early at mother 6.30am just to go out for breakfast with himbo Justin but he's forgiven since he gives in to me for most of the 1hr arcade game. I owned him like crazy.
Pictures yet to come for the pink gurl's party. so stay tuned!
Sunday, 23 November 2008
My new name is Jelly.
I've been slogging hard, facing my fuck cheebye supervisor who uses the most ridiculous excuses just to escape from the piles of dishes to be washed or to save the floor from being flooded with too many potatoes. I've been rolling my beautiful eyes at 2 colleagues who couldn't differentiate sentences when customers asked "What is the fish cooked with", they answered "Yes Mam, the fish is good". Nabeh?
But I'm not complaining, because I'm still enjoying the overusage of my sickening voice of caucasians that are mainly made up of guys. Because I still love digging ice creams. Because each second that ticks away, more moolah is going to have a new home in my bank account. I'm just fuck tired the magician hiding with my behind the counters is letting peppermint ice cream fall from the fan, that he mixes orders up and complains I'm too short to reach the topmost bar of coke. But eh, ah cock, I think you only 160 only hor?
Enough shit talk. I'm going off to genting to try to sneak into casinoes and win money so I won't have to work or find a sugar daddy. So the next time you see me try to lick my boots squeaky clean and if you're lucky I might include you in my inheritance list. Intellectual words saved for the next time iloveyoumuchokaybyebye.
But I'm not complaining, because I'm still enjoying the overusage of my sickening voice of caucasians that are mainly made up of guys. Because I still love digging ice creams. Because each second that ticks away, more moolah is going to have a new home in my bank account. I'm just fuck tired the magician hiding with my behind the counters is letting peppermint ice cream fall from the fan, that he mixes orders up and complains I'm too short to reach the topmost bar of coke. But eh, ah cock, I think you only 160 only hor?
Enough shit talk. I'm going off to genting to try to sneak into casinoes and win money so I won't have to work or find a sugar daddy. So the next time you see me try to lick my boots squeaky clean and if you're lucky I might include you in my inheritance list. Intellectual words saved for the next time iloveyoumuchokaybyebye.
Monday, 10 November 2008
When it's your stop, get down.
Sometimes it gets on my nerves so much how much judgement one can face in just a single day. Judging and comparing should be void or left barren because it usually stimulates a self consious image, you usually have to grapple with the redundancy of excess pressure inflicted upon you. And well, most of the times, it's usually something more than just a benigned remark.
I've been judged today, in a small way actually, by the local hairdresser. She snipped my fringe off and now it looks like pubic hair, I had to attend school with a hairband. She commented I had rubbish hair and even though I was unfazed by her remarks, I wanted to shout at her for being so highly unprofessional about cutting my hair when she can't do the most basic thing, which is to focus on her customer instead of letting her eyeballs roll towards the repair man. Enough said, don't wanna be a whiny bitch because my hair is going to grow back some day and a shorter fringe means clearer vision!My schedule is so tight, it fits me like a sex kitten's costume. I'm so drained of energy, I fault everyday. Like on saturday when I was going home, I mistook 185 as 105 and gladly board the bus, only to realise I couldn't reach home. I sprayed dettol all over myself because I didn't see the direction the nozzle was facing. I touched a hot burning object without realising and had to paste my pooh plaster on my finger, ouch):. I threw away 2 plasters because I didn't check beforehand. Even if I eat a gazillion energy bars now, I think I still can't walk straight. Me tired, me need to sleep. Somehow, I'm telling myself, there should be more interesting ways in life to die than having a war with fishes and playing with can drinks everyday.
14th nov was Zealot 1.1's bbq party and although the atmohphere wasn't anything near barbaric, meaning no food snatching and no one was on fire, but everybody was so engrossed in eating, we didn't have much fun. Fun only came when food was served, camwhore slut came alive and when the gays started singing. Photos later.
15th nov was drumming and then working till the sun sets. New colleagues, new stories to tell. That night I was consumed, I woke up to find my face in my dinner.
16th, forget it. It's too banal to even be talked about.
And the days yet to come, it's going to eat me alive. All that I'm glad of is that at the end of the month, I'll have moolah's to spend. Even thought income doesn't buys happiness, but it's still comforting to see cash in your bank. Recession is hitting!
HE'S HUGGING THE COWBOY HAT I GOT HIM!
fuck face sorry
ugly norman and cool dashing voloptuous marc

ugly norman and shirley + qinyinqqqqq











My muscles! THEY ARE POSSESSED!







SO CUTE! (when I said cute I meant "IGNORE THOSE PIMPIES AND LOOK AT THE MOUTH!")
Not cute.


Boys toilet
Girls toilet
Girls toilet








Ignore the face look at the body
Dan and...ignore the ugly one please.

Arty





No one on fire, no food on fire
smokin' hot.




Happy birthday Marcus!
I'll be back for an update later cause...I need to shit. BYE
pspspspspsps: JENISE JUST INVITED ME FOR A SLEEPOVER! :D
I've been judged today, in a small way actually, by the local hairdresser. She snipped my fringe off and now it looks like pubic hair, I had to attend school with a hairband. She commented I had rubbish hair and even though I was unfazed by her remarks, I wanted to shout at her for being so highly unprofessional about cutting my hair when she can't do the most basic thing, which is to focus on her customer instead of letting her eyeballs roll towards the repair man. Enough said, don't wanna be a whiny bitch because my hair is going to grow back some day and a shorter fringe means clearer vision!My schedule is so tight, it fits me like a sex kitten's costume. I'm so drained of energy, I fault everyday. Like on saturday when I was going home, I mistook 185 as 105 and gladly board the bus, only to realise I couldn't reach home. I sprayed dettol all over myself because I didn't see the direction the nozzle was facing. I touched a hot burning object without realising and had to paste my pooh plaster on my finger, ouch):. I threw away 2 plasters because I didn't check beforehand. Even if I eat a gazillion energy bars now, I think I still can't walk straight. Me tired, me need to sleep. Somehow, I'm telling myself, there should be more interesting ways in life to die than having a war with fishes and playing with can drinks everyday.
14th nov was Zealot 1.1's bbq party and although the atmohphere wasn't anything near barbaric, meaning no food snatching and no one was on fire, but everybody was so engrossed in eating, we didn't have much fun. Fun only came when food was served, camwhore slut came alive and when the gays started singing. Photos later.
15th nov was drumming and then working till the sun sets. New colleagues, new stories to tell. That night I was consumed, I woke up to find my face in my dinner.
16th, forget it. It's too banal to even be talked about.
And the days yet to come, it's going to eat me alive. All that I'm glad of is that at the end of the month, I'll have moolah's to spend. Even thought income doesn't buys happiness, but it's still comforting to see cash in your bank. Recession is hitting!
smokin' hot.
pspspspspsps: JENISE JUST INVITED ME FOR A SLEEPOVER! :D
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